A Critique of Betty Dodsons How to Squirt Video
So last week while reading through my feeds at CarnalNation.com, I came across Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ video on the G-spot called “How to Squirt“. I thought, “This should be interesting” knowing that Betty Dodson is kind-of anti-G-spot (or more accurately pro-clitoris); I was interested in what she would have to say about the subject. This video, by the way, was a response to the most popular question of the week on their website dodsonandross.com, “How can I squirt across the room”. You will see by watching the video below that they never really answer this question seriously, unless you include the “smoke and mirrors” parlor tricks they describe like using a douche, or holding your pee too long.
Here is the video so you can take a look and see what Dodson and Ross have to say.
So, first off, the tone of the video is very condescending and well, snarky. Dodson immediately attacks Dr. Oz (from the popular TV show Dr. Oz) saying “Did you believe that misinformation!” Last week Dr. Oz had a show on the G-spot which you can see a snippet of here. In this episode, Dr. Oz calls the G-spot “the holy grail of sex, the mystical g-spot, the KEY to intense sexual gratification in women…” It is the word “KEY” that really throws Betty Dodson into a tantrum. Ross is quick to note that the KEY to female pleasure is the clitoris, and Dodson emphasizes that even more by spelling it out. C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. Okay, Betty. Don’t insult us. We can spell.
Dodson and Ross then turn the whole video “answer” into a feminist discourse bringing back the time-old debate of “clitoral vs. g-spot”: aka Kinsey/Dodson/Ross vs. Freud/Whipple/Sundahl. And, that’s fine… It is their soapbox after all. For the record, most sexologists agree (even the ones who advocate G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation) that the clitoris is the KEY to female sexual pleasure and that the G-spot is an extension of the clitoral structure (read my article on female anatomy here). However, that doesn’t mean that G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation are merely “parlor tricks” as Dodson and Ross try to imply.
“Shooting across the room is a parlor trick… Drink a liter of Evian and … fill up your bladder…” You can see where they were going with this line of reasoning before they broke down in snarky laughter. The two continue to explain how to ejaculate using CLITORAL stimulation only with Betty’s much loved Hitachi, saying “then push out and you will ejaculate… giving birth to an orgasm.” Never once do they mention direct G-spot stimulation, vagina penetration, or anything else that would go near the G-spot. And, while some women can ejaculate via clitoral stimulation alone, or without any stimulation what-so-ever (now that is some parlor trick!) most women need G-spot stimulation with a G-spot toy, hands, fingers or whatever can stroke it so it fills with prostate fluid to create ejaculate. Never once does either Dodson or Ross try to answer their reader’s “most popular question of the week- ‘How can I squirt across the room'” with a real answer that addresses the G-spot. I find it very strange that Dodson tries to evade the question with her own all-powerful CLITORIS agenda. This is a real disservice in my mind to her readers and for women seeking real sexuality advice about the G-spot and female ejaculation.
Okay. So, if that wasn’t bad enough, then Dodson starts saying how grossed out she is by female ejaculation: “Personally, I find it all too messy… don’t you dare squirt in my bed…” Then she makes a bunch of awful sounds and faces, and says “Oh, please, go to the bathroom! Go pee in the toilet… I mean… really…” This is not the response I would expect from a reputable “sex positive” educator, someone who many women look up to for sexuality advice. Mind, you, Dodson has always been unconventional, and has never wanted to fit in with established views, which is what has made her great. However, if we turn the clock back to when she was first trying to teach women about their clitoris and orgasms, how did she feel when those “in the know” discounted her orgasms as ugly and messy, or undervalued them? Is this not what she has been fighting against her entire career? For women to have the FREEDOM to and RIGHT to orgasm however they desire? Yet, she nonchalantly cheapens the G-spot and female ejaculation into something messy and gross, that is only a parlor trick anyway, so why bother?
Didn’t women (before liberation) think all sex was messy? I’m sorry but this sounds both juvenile and archaic.
But wait! Just in case you want to bother and know what female ejaculation “feels” like, allow Dodson and Ross to explain, since they are such experts on the subject, neither having ever experienced a G-spot ejaculation themselves!
“Now imagine you have a full bladder and you’ve gone way too long and have to pee… for the last hour… and you make it to the toilet and just let it go… feels so good.” So according to Dodson and Ross, female ejaculation feels like having a really good piss, again equating it to something gross and messy that we wouldn’t want to do during sex. Sorry to enlighten you girls, but a G-spot orgasm and ejaculation doesn’t feel like a really good piss, any more than a clitoral orgasm feels like a really good sneeze. For the record Betty and Veronica (sorry, eh… Carlin), a G-spot orgasm feels fucking great! It doesn’t feel like pissing, or even like a clitoral orgasm what-so-ever.
“Some G-spot orgasms with feel like a roar of sexual energy that is experienced as a deep, full-body quaking and total sexual release. Others are like a rippling effect that sends waves of pleasure tingling through you… Many women note that a G-spot orgasm comes after a series of smaller orgasms, when they are at the ultimate peak of arousal. To some women, G-spot orgasms are more powerful than any other type they have ever experienced.”–How to Pleasure Your G-spot
Dodson even goes on to say that having a great piss could be considered an orgasm as it is a “release of tension.” So, I guess, according to Dodson and Ross having diarrhea and vomiting could be considered really good orgasms well? Whatever turns your crank, I guess, but I’ll stick to my G-spot thanks.
To conclude the video, Dodson states that any orgasm is good as long as you have one. But, then negates this comment by saying, “And, there is nothing wrong with having a little ‘parlor trick’ and bearing down and shooting across the room”, something she accomplished in the bathtub by filling her vagina with water from a douche. So, according to her, G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation are not real? Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of women who experience them.
Am I, and other women who can ejaculate, simply doing a silly parlor trick, and if we are, then why? I’m not a porn star and I most often ejaculate in private during masturbation. So what reason would I have for performing a parlor trick for myself? Are Dodson and Ross saying the whole G-spot/ejaculation phenomenon is a sham? If so, they are trying to censure every woman’s right to seek out G-spot pleasure and orgasm. And, censoring a woman’s right to pleasure should be something Dodson is very familiar with from her pioneering days of teaching women about their right to sexual pleasure, masturbation and orgasm.
Dodson sees the G-spot as “fashionable” and ejaculation as “[j]ust one more thing a woman [have] to achieve,” both of which rival her glorious CLITORIS. “Just when I thought the clitoris had been reinstated thanks to seventies feminists, women and their lovers dived back inside vaginas searching for a magic spot.”–G-spot Revisited And, although I understand Dodson’s frustration after fighting for CLITORAL domination all these years, I don’t see how discarding the G-spot and female ejaculation along with countless women’s experiences is helping women achieve sexual freedom which I thought was her ultimate goal.
Why do we have to choose between the clitoris and G-spot anyway? Why do we have to go back to an age-old debate, between phallocentric vaginal supremacy and angry feminist condemnation as we try to supplant the vagina with the clitoris? Women have both a clitoris and a G-spot, and can experience both types of pleasure. It wasn’t so long ago (I’m sure Betty will remember) when women were not allowed to be sexual creatures at all and were treated for hysteria. So, let’s stop taking steps backwards, and acknowledge both the clitoris and G-spot for the miraculous sexy parts they are, and celebrate all parts of the female sexual anatomy. Women shouldn’t feel pressured to choose one over the other, or to have one if they can’t. Do what comes naturally. Masturbate, and you’ll find your own way to “give birth to your own orgasm”!
So, to end my ranting critique, I’d like to accuse Dodson and Ross of doing the same thing that they accused Dr. Oz of doing. Spreading a big bunch of bullshit misinformation in their “How to Squirt” video. Perhaps Dr. Oz was over-emphasizing the importance of the G-spot, and there is no doubt that there is a lot of hype about that “elusive” spot in the media. And, I don’t agree with his idea of injecting the G-spot with collagen to make it more exaggerated (scary), you can do that simply by stimulating it. But, by pretending that G-spot orgasms and ejaculation is merely a myth or a trick, just because you can experience one yourself, is doing womankind a real disservice. After watching Dr. Oz’s video, I think he actually explained the G-spot very well for the general public and was not misinformed.
So, get used to it girls. The G-spot does exist. And, G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation feel fucking amazing. Especially when they’re messy!
Afterword- Coincidentally… In “The G-spot Revisited” Betty Dodson talks more about her views on the G-spot and female ejaculation and acknowledges that both exist. Still, she vehemently fights against it believing its existence challenges her CLITORAL hierarchy. Is this debate about two parts of the female anatomy, or is it a radical feminist battle against phallocentric “masturbating inside vaginas” and male vs. female pleasure?
You tell me? What do you think about this issue?