When I was fifteen I had sex with my cousin. To be fair, he was my second or third cousin (or something like that) and although we shared the same last name we didn’t know each other as kids. I think the first time I met him, I was ten years old. The house we lived at the time only had two bedrooms. My mother took one and my brother took the other. It didn’t bother me, because although I didn’t have a separate entrance to my bedroom, which happened to be the wide open space at the top of the stairs, the space was in fact rather large and I wasn’t at an age where I required that much privacy. My brother was fifteen at the time and he had become friends with our cousin (let’s call him James).
James had slept over at our house, a fact that I was unaware of, so when I woke up that morning feeling a tad randy I assumed that it was a morning like any other and that everyone was still asleep, which is to say I quietly masturbated in my pseudo-hallway-bedroom. When I was done, I got up to go to the bathroom and I noticed that my brother’s bedroom door was ajar and that a guy who I didn’t know was lying on the floor wide awake and could clearly see me through the crack in the door. Immediately I wondered if he had seen me get off. Hoping he hadn’t, I tried not to think about it and pretended that I wasn’t dying of mortification on the inside. That was the first time I met James and our paths would only cross again five years later.
One of the main reason why he might have decided to steer clear of our family from that point on is that he robbed my father’s house. One day, my brother had shown James my Dad’s antique gun collection and apparently that prompted James to make his way to our house when no one was home, break a window and make off with the merchandise. The idiot had done this in broad daylight and our neighbor had seen him do the deed and recognized him. That was the last I heard of him until I was fifteen.
I hung out with a slightly older crowd in high-school and being rather precocious for my age, I was already going out to bars at the tender age of fifteen. They didn’t always let me in mind you, but this was a small ass town and put a short skirt on any pretty fifteen year old and you don’t always need ID. So there I was, the summer after grade nine, hanging out at the only club in the entire city, when I spotted and immediately recognized the face I had seen through the crack of a door one morning after getting myself off.
I joined the group of girls who were outside smoking and talking to James. He had no idea who I was and I didn’t exactly introduce myself. I did, however, grab his attention when I asked if he had enjoyed robbing us. The conversation stopped mid-stream, he looked up at me and asked “who the hell are you?” I shot him my sideways smile, a smile I had developed in front of the mirror the year before believing that it was sexy, and told him I was his little cousin. He took me in, looking me up and down and wondered what had happened to the little blonde kid he had seen that one day.
I’d grown up into one hell of a flirt is what happened. Something he would discover over the course of the night. At closing time, I wrangled a few people to go for a midnight swim at our local high school and invited him to join. A proposal he was quite happy to accept. On our way to the pool, we crossed a bridge designed for pedestrians and don’t ask me what lead to this, but James who was walking behind me took it upon himself to raise my skirt and uncovered my ass. According to him, I was wearing granny panties, but let me tell you all that to my unexperienced mind they were in fact my nicest pair.
One jumped fence later, we were all in the pool. I may have been somewhat of a tease at that age, but I was also shy and kept my dress on to jump in the pool. My two best friend who had come along for the ride disrobed to their underwear and t-shirts and James stripped all the way down. I think that was the first time I had seen a man standing in front of me completely and unabashedly nude. The night was going well.
After our quick jaunt in the pool, we made our way to my house. My mother worked nights at the time and my house was the place to go when you didn’t want the night to end. I slipped out of my wet dress and put on a oversized white men’s shirt and nothing else. Except, that is, for the same pair of blue panties I had started the night in. Somehow, James and I ended up alone in my Mother’s room. The tension was high. I felt great. Innuendoes were flying all over the place and being the fearless kid that I was, I jumped in head first and rolled over to straddle him on the bed.
I think he got the point, because the next thing he did was rip off my underwear with his teeth. To this day, I am still amazed that he was able to do that so efficiently and swiftly. They literally ripped off my body in one quick motion and the next thing I knew my underwear where lying on the floor and I was about to have sex with my cousin. I was impressed. I kept the torn remains for a long time after that. Throwing them away only when the spell wore off years later. The night was by no means perfect, I was rather new at all of this even though I put off an air of “I know what I’m doing”. Still, there are some things you can’t bluff your way through and quiet frankly I had no idea what I was doing. He found the way I moved when I was underneath him awkward and much preferred the way I moved on top. I told him my age and level of experience (which was rather close to zero) and he said I would learn. The comment could be seen as condescending, but it really wasn’t hurtful. It made me smile and if anything he thought me a thing or two.
It’s strange the details that you remember. We didn’t go to bed until the sun came up or rather until my Mom was due home, and we continued to play with one another while maintaining a rather tantalizing conversation. For some reason we were on to the topic of music and one of us mentioned Nine Inch Nails at which point, while still straddling him I might add, I whispered the first verse of Reptile in his ear:She spreads herself wide open to let the insects in
She leaves a trail of honey to show you where she’s been
She has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin
Seeds of a thousand others drip down from within
Corny or hot? Up to you to decide. No matter, it was definitely a defining experience in my sexual evolution and no one can take that away.