When I was doing my strange sex toy reviews, the G-Pop would have been a good addition. Not that it is bizarre like the replica Wolf Penis I reviewed, or blasphemous like the Jackhammer Jesus, or even fantastical like the Dragon’s Tongue… But, it definitely is not what I ever expected a G-spot dildo to look like. In fact, when I first saw it I was sure it was a percussion toy.
So a G-Pop is basically a sex toy with a long steel rod having a plastic handle on one end and a heavy steel ball on the other. It comes in different sizes: 1.5″, 2″ and 2.38″ diameters and various colors. The manufacturers, Steel Vineyards, also make them in gemstone varieties as well. Mine came in Cherry Red with a 2” diameter, which is very large, heavy and hard as hell. It is a heavy metal dildo that will either rock your G-spot to bliss, or leave you in serious pain.
When I first got my G-Pop it sat on my desk and I used it for percussion to massage my shoulders. It worked very well bouncing lightly off my shoulder muscles, but you have to be extremely careful not to hit the bone (even lightly) as you could seriously hurt yourself. My partner didn’t like the feeling of it as a percussion toy, saying it wigged him out. I think two of these would make ideal percussion toys together on the soft cushions of the butt, playing the flesh like a xylophone.
Percussion play is not the G-Pop’s intended purpose, however. It is meant to be inserted, like a dildo and rocked or pumped to excite the G-spot. Well, I thought I could handle a 2” diameter of unyielding steel. After all, the large end of my NJoy Pure Wand is 1 ½”, so I didn’t think an extra ½” would be anything to worry about. I’m afraid I was wrong.
I first applied my new G-spot gel, Shunga’s Rain of Love arousal gel to my G-spot. I then lubed the G-Pop up well and began rubbing it around my vulva and slowly inserting it. No go. I obviously needed some extra stimulation to get more aroused. I grabbed my trusty lusty plug-in massager the Fairy Wand and went to work on my clit, while my partner slowly rolled and twisted the G-Pop at the opening of my vagina. Every time it almost went in, it felt like my pelvic bone was going to crack and my G-Spot burned painfully. We tried this for a while to no avail. I couldn’t insert the G-Pop without feeling pain, tensing up and popping it out. Holy mother-fucker and did it hurt! The worst of it was, I was afraid if I did manage to get it inside, I would never get it out. I imagined a trip to the emergency room with this thing sticking out of me, and well, it freaked me out.
While I have tried many sex toys in the name of “science” (Ha!), I am not willing to undergo pain or fear for a review. I read both AAG’s and Essin’ Em’s reviews of the G-Pop, and while they both had to carefully work it in, they both did manage to insert the toy and both found it exquisite once inside. AAG had the largest one and Essin’ Em the smallest. So, while the G-Pop didn’t fit me in the 2” size, it would obviously fit other people. I have a small vagina and I’ve never had kids, so 2” was way too large for me. I do know that had I got the 1 ½” that it would have fit, because after trying unsuccessfully to insert the G-Pop, I got my NJoy Pure Wand out and the large end slid easily inside me, making me squirt uncontrollably. (My reward to undergoing the G-Pop pain!)
I still think that the G-Pop is a pretty groovy, unique sex toy. I would still love to try the 1 ½”, and from now on will keep that in mind when getting new toys.
Previously Published on the Sex Carnival.