Sex E Blog Digest #3
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The Sex E Blog Digest is a daily digest of over 60 Feeds of Sex blogs I subscribe to including sex bloggers, sex reviewers, sexologists, sex magazines & zines and some of my favorite porn stars websites.
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According to researchers from Queen’s University, Canada using your cell phone can may lower sperm quality, in turn leading to decreased fertility. Cell phone rely on electromagnetic waves (EMW) impacts levels of male hormones. Based on this research “men who reported cell phone use had higher levels of circulating testosterone but they also had lower levels of luteinizing hormone (LH). This may block the conversion of this basic type of testosterone to the more active, potent form of testosterone associated with sperm production and fertility.
While more research needs to be conducted, “mobile phone users in the UK were advised by the Government to text or use hands free kits rather than make calls.The Department of Health said this would reduce the user’s exposure to reduce radiation emitted by the devices.”
- Yasmin Birth Control Pill: The Spinning of a Blockbuster Drug
In the late 90s the FDA loosened their requirements for pharmaceutical advertisements. Prior to 1997, the FDA had demanded that drug companies list all known side effects and possible contraindications in their ads. This made it difficult to market drugs successfully. With these demands lifted, and the requirements reduced to a list of the most common side effects, a toll free number, and a website, the floodgates opened for direct to consumer advertising.
Now, it’s hard to turn on America TV without seeing some drug ad for some condition – many of which, many of us have never heard of. And since that time, Big Pharma has put quite a spin on a number of these drugs – all for the sake of increasing their profit margins.
- Ask Me Anything: How Not To Slip Out When Strapped On
Like Tuesday, I also have a question about strap-on sex. Whenever my girl and I use a strap-on, the cock always falls out because I move entirely too much. We’ve tried numerous positions and restraints (we rarely have sex without them). Got any additional solutions?
The first thing that comes to mind is that you might want to get a bigger cock—at least a longer one. Which one are you using right now?
And maybe she would say she doesn’t want or need any more length inside her, but that’s okay—just because it is 8″ or 10″ doesn’t mean you have to put all of those inches in her. And if you have a longer shaft, you can pull out farther and move around (which is what it seems like you want to and like to do) and still not pull all the way out.
I would suggest one like this one, Bandit, which is 7″ long. It does have balls, but they are very flat, so I think it’s still about 6 3/4″ insertable. It’s made by Vixen Creations and it is one of my favorites.
But, if getting a new cock is not an option, for whatever reason (her comfort, your wallets, etc), here’s a few other ideas.
Try keeping your hand on your cock most of the time while you’re fucking. I do this a lot, also because I don’t want to slip out and can easily do that sometimes, especially when I get going. I find it’s most comfortable for me to either have my hand loosely on the base, or up against her, where the cock is going in, loosely. Sometimes it is very good in this position to be able to stimulate her clit, too (or finger her asshole, or whatever). This is so you can feel when you’re about to come out, you can feel the ridge of the head of your cock if you pull out that far, and you can keep yourself inside.
Try moving less! Seriously. I understand it probably feels good when you do that, but there are other ways to move so you can still feel good and you aren’t slipping out as much. See if you can get a side-to-side movement working well. Practice moving your hips in a circle rather than in-and-out. Or go in-and-out but use a different angle, so you don’t pull out so far. Try five quick strokes in-and-out at about half-length, not all the way, and then five excruciatingly slow strokes where you pull pretty much all the way out.
Try tightening your harness so you can feel any movements better, maybe you won’t need to move around so much that way.
You said you’ve tried other positions, but try more. If she’s on top, she can control the depth and it’s a lot harder to pull all the way out. If you’re on top, try drawing your knees up instead of having your legs splayed out straight so you have more control with your hips.
If none of this works to prevent slipping out, well, maybe you can just accept that you’re going to fuck and buck wildly, and you’re going to slip out. I mean, does that really matter so much? Just put it back in. You might want to create a script that you say—or a couple different scripts—so that it becomes part of the play, and also so that she has a way to tell you that you’ve slipped out without embarrassing you or you feeling silly for having continued to fuck without being actually inside (it’s one of the downfalls of not actually having nerves there). She can say, for example, “Wait, I want you inside me, come back, you’ve slipped, put it back in.” You can tease her and say, “Do you really want it?” and make her beg or say please. Or she can order you around and make YOU beg to put it back in, if that’s more like your dynamic.
Okay, what say you out there reading this? Any other ideas for staying inside? Any more thoughts or suggestions?
- A Gleeful Sense of Duty
If I were to sum up my personal goal in life as a human it would be to live as pleasurably as possible with the utmost integrity and honesty and secondly to create as much joy as possible for others where I can. This is what I strive for and this is why I do what I do with my reality porn website.
I started my website because I experienced a real and sustainable joy from sexual sharing through my own online exhibitionism and that of others performing on the Australian websites I first started working with. It was rarely about the money for me though having money is vastly more pleasurable than having none so I won’t pretend it wasn’t an integral part of what made the experience extra special.
- To Make Love Last, Pick a Guy with Your Commitment Level
If you want a relationship that will stand the test of time, make sure you choose a partner who’s just as committed to the relationship as you are — whether that means “not very” or “’til the end.” In a new study, couples who matched each other’s commitment styles stuck together the longest.
The study, published in Psychological Science, surveyed 78 people in their early 20s and found that subjects who had supportive mothers as toddlers and were able to sort out conflicts as teens are more invested in their adult relationships. Researchers call them “strong links.” If a person’s toddlerhood and adolescence was the opposite, he or she is more likely to bail on relationships: They’re the “weak links.” How we learn to behave as young people has a bearing on how we love as adults, the researchers say.
But here’s where the study takes an interesting turn: Researchers found that in order for a relationship to last, people needed to have similar commitment levels. As long as they gelled in that way, they had a better shot of staying together:
Interestingly, it’s not the partners’ individual commitments that make the most difference in the grace and longevity of the dance. It’s how well their levels of commitment match up. Two strong links will be benevolent and tolerant when the going gets rough. Two weak links may be lax about working things out, but their expectations are equally low — so there’s less friction. But when a weak link and a strong link pair up, the one with less investment has more influence — and stability is the loser.
What does that mean for you? If you have a tendency to run away from commitment, find a guy who has his metaphorical track cleats on too. If you’re a nurturing serial monogamist, find a romantic who’s willing to fight for love as well — and steer clear of the commitment-phobes. They’ll only break your heart.
This is all easier said than done, of course (plus, you’ll have to fight the whole “opposites attract” compulsion), but it’s nice to have a heads-up before you go hunting.
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- Wise Guys: Why Do Men Get in Touch with Past Flames?
Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks,”Why do guys get back in touch with old flames? Booty call? Rekindle the romance? To prove they’re over the woman? Just to say hi? Just got dumped and need an ego boost?”
Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): At the risk of talking myself out of an advice column, men and women are essentially the same and act/think identically in 95% of all situations. So any reason you can think of for getting in touch with an old flame, the same goes for guys and their exes. I’ve never stayed in contact with anyone past the break-up, because I can’t imagine getting past the bitterness and resentment, or the leftover love and lust, and being Just Friends. As such, I’ve only ever been the get-in-touchee not the, um, -toucher. But in my limited experience, guys — and girls — never get in touch with former lovers “just to say hi.”
For instance, I recently accepted a Facebook friend request from an ex. We were together for a couple of months over a decade ago, and even in that short time I managed to cheat on her, so I felt sufficiently distanced by time and my old, cold lack of concern to safely socialize with her. I was curious to know what she’d been up to (roller derby!) and to catch up with her and the town in which I had grown up — and grown up fast after making mistakes like that particular infidelity. The wall posts went back and forth amicably enough… until I revealed that what I’d been up to: getting married and moving out of the country. I haven’t heard from her since! So, innocent intentions on my part — but she was on the prowl, right?
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): I find that most guys get in touch with old flames when they are at “rock bottom” moments in life and need to convince themselves that (a) at one point someone had feelings for them, (b) that unlike the stinging rebuke of a recent ex they are actually capable of affection or (c) they are truly horny and have no other options on the menu. All three are a complete mistake. The only reason you should ever get back in touch with an old flame is the “you might have contracted an STD” call or the “I’d like my T-shirt back please – it’s my favorite.” That’s it.
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): The reasons for men to visit the ghosts of girlfriends past are numerous. Our exes already know us intimately, they understand us, they have seen us at our worst and best and they can usually make us feel better, fast. We all have days where we feel insecure, out of shape, out of the game, heartbroken or (and more often the case than not) just bored. After a breakup especially, we tend to think about every girl who has ever thought we were amazing, probably to reassure ourselves that we are! We want to be reminded that there ARE others out there that love us, desire us and miss us. We need to be reminded that there HAVE been other girls who thought we were the sexiest, smartest, most perfect men on earth so we can say to ourselves, “It’s her loss for breaking up with me.” And you know what? It works.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook, a British writer/illustrator working in Berlin with his photographer wife on their cool blog, Überlin; our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter; and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett of Tyler Barnett PR in LA. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
- The Economics of Porn—Introduction
For many of us, pornography is a staple of positive sexual expression. We use it for inspiration in our own sex lives, we use it to turn our partners and ourselves on and – lest we forget – we use it to get ourselves off. Pornography is external, providing visuals that act as a form of sexual escapism. Even whilst writhing within the clutching embraces of our partners, under the pulsating attentions of our toys or the familiar touch of our own hands, we escape. For the exhibition-shy, watching porn might be a risk-free way to leave the bedroom.
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